Memoirs of a Somebody
by Panther X
Summary: A girl who sees the future in dreams loses her best friend at a young age. Follow through a re-telling of her adventure when she finds him again, years later. Though he is far from the person she remembers... Formerly "Fire and Ice".
1. Welcome To My Life

**Hey everyone! Sorry to readers of Fire and Ice for the deletion. I wanted to know that I could actually finish it first. Plus, Memoirs of a Somebody is such a catchier title, don't you think? Anyway, enjoy!  
- Panther**

I will never forget the day my best friend disappeared. I will never forget the day my heart did not rip in two, this saying being reserved for lovers, but left my body all together. Ale and I had known each other for as long as I can remember, self-proclaimed Best Friends for Life. The teardrop tattoos under his eyes (or at least the money to pay for them) had been a birthday present from me. As kids, it was said that we were like a completed set. His hair fiery red and eyes emerald green and my hair ice blue with onyx black eyes. Nuana and Ale, BFFs. Even at a young age Ale had pyromania; setting fire to his mother's garden, even once setting his own head alight.

It was all so sudden really. Ale's mother, his only blood family, had been killed in a random act of violence about two weeks before he disappeared. Everyone had their theories: he left to avenge his mother's death, he joined a gang and left town, he had been killed. Even though it was painful to consider it, I thought the later was most likely since he never even came to say goodbye.

Once I reached the appropriate age, I planned to follow my childhood dreams and travel the world. Over the three years that had past, the wounds formed by Ale's disappearance had started to heal. Therefore using my new freedom for a wild goose chase was the farthest thing from my mind.

That is of course until I had the dream. You see I don't dream often, but when I do the fantasy usually becomes reality. In that particular dream, I found myself walking through the streets of a town I did not recognize. All around me, people were enjoying a festival. Children ran past, balloons flailing like leashed puppies behind their masters. Vendors advertised hot food, sugary treats and souvenirs. Soon I came to an open plaza. An immense decoration on a wall caught my eye, a two-faced clown's head that gazed blankly down on the passing crowd below. At once I knew where and when I was. Every year Twilight Town held a festival celebrating the cycle of life and death. The two-faced jester was the official mascot of the gala. As I took in my surroundings, my eyes rested on a tall, lanky figure standing in the light. It was cloaked in a hooded black robe, standing directly beneath the clown. Slowly the figure turned to me. I could not see the face hidden within the shadows of the hood save for two bright green eyes and teardrop tattoos.

‡‡‡

As soon as I awoke, I knew what I had to do. Since there was no evidence of a specific day in the vision, I would have to wait in the square until he came. The festival began in three days time so I gathered my belongings and caught the nearest transport to Twilight Town. I booked a room in a cheap hotel for the entirety of the festival with the promise of a refund from the manager should I choose to leave early.

My accommodations were scant, consisting of a single bed, a small chest-of-drawers, a table and a mini-fridge. After settling in, I strolled around Twilight Townwith the other pre-festival tourists. Throughout the day I passed the large clock tower and watched a ball game. I don't quite remember what it was called but it had consisted of two people collecting rubber balls and beating each other with paddles. In my opinion it was a completely pointless use of one's time.

The next day heralded the beginning of the festival. First thing in the morning, I found a spot on a bench from which I had a full view of the area beneath the giant clown. The day before, I had stocked up on a week's worth of non-perishable food so I would not have to leave my spot for more than a few minutes during the day. I bought a blue ice-cream pop from a nearby vendor and sat down to begin my stakeout.

The next three days passed like the first. I would claim my bench early in the morning, wait, stare, ask passers-by if they had seen a skinny man in a black cloak; eat, wait and return to the hotel at nightfall. My dream had distinctly taken place in the day so I knew there would be no point in waiting for twenty-four hours.

Finally, on the fourth day, my diligence paid off. Around late afternoon, the black cloak from my dream materialized out off the shadows of an ally off the plaza. The figure sauntered into the light, coming to a stop beneath the two-faced clown. My first instinct was to charge forward and tackle the person from behind, but I decided against it. The last thing I wanted was to scare them off, making my efforts virtually futile. Instead I watched, waiting for the figure to make the first move. At first, my quarry simply turned its head around, as if taking in the scene. Soon though, as if they were confident in not being watched, hands reached up to remove the concealing hood. I inhaled sharply, a gasp catching in my throat. There before me, red hair, tattoos and all, was Ale.


	2. To the Ends of the Earth

**Hey everyone. I would just like to say: Please Review. It means so much to me and, as a bonus, I respond to every review, on a point of principle. So, without further adoo, please enjoy.  
-Panther**

I was a bit taken aback at first. The last time I had seen Ale, he had only been fifteen. The change was quite dramatic. His hair, formerly straight and cut just to his shoulders, stuck straight out in thick, two foot long spikes behind him. Time had chiselled his face and body into that of adult. Upon closer inspection though, I could still distinguish the old mischievous spark in his emerald eyes and the complimenting smirk.

Slowly, I got up from my seat, grabbed my pack and began to approach him, attempting to appear like an average tourist happening to be heading in that particular direction. Soon I stood only a couple of feet behind him.

"Ale?" I asked, my doubt forming an unintended question of the word. He didn't turn, only smiling roguishly to passers-by as they stared in wonderment at his hair and clothes. I was starting to get worried now. Either his memory had been wiped or this wasn't Ale. "It's Nuana. Remember me Kagutsuchi?" I called, louder. I could see his shoulders and spine instantly stiffen at the name of the god of fire, Ale's old nickname. Slowly and methodically, his head turned to look behind him. He drew a sharp breath through his teeth before responding.

"Kami-kaze?" he hissed questioningly. That was my nickname, the goddess of violent, icy storms. I nodded, breaking into a face encompassing grin.

"That's right Kagutsuchi," I cried, reaching out and hugging his neck from behind, "I can't believe you remembered after all these years, all that growing and I'm only a little shorter than you!"

As I babbled away, trying to catch up for three years, Ale's frown deepened. Finally he put two fingers to my lips, our old signal for 'shut up'.

"So Kami-kaze, you're looking for Ale?" he asked emotionlessly. I was taken aback.

"Of course I was looking for you, and now I've found you." I blurted, grabbing his hand. He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure how to put this lightly, so I'll be blunt," he paused, "Ale has been dead for about two and a half years. My name is Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" I backed up a couple of steps; shock my first reaction, with anger quickly taking its place. I could feel tears beginning to prick at the corners of my eyes. That's me alright, can't hold back emotions for long.

"So this is what it's come to huh?" I growled, "Mrs. Guynzo was right! You DID run away from your problems like a coward, joined a gang and started a new life. Never sparing one thought for people left behind!" My voice rose in fervour along with my emotions. Axel, or whoever he was, just listened idly with no expression as I ranted. This of course just made me feel worse. Once it was apparent that I was finished, he spoke.

"You're right actually," he grinned like in the old days when he had a big secret, "I did join a gang of sorts, we've got a big mission too! Real hush hush, so I can't give out too many details. And," he added, placing a finger to his forehead, "I resent being called a coward. Got it memorized?" At that, he turned on his heel and headed back toward the ally. I hurried after him, the shadow of the buildings closing in around me. Axel turned and glared at me at the end of the path. "I told you Kami-kaze, it's very hush hush," he grinned, though his eyes had a definite edge of malice. Thinking back now, I believe there was a part of him, what little that was left of Ale, which wanted me to follow. He didn't attack or shove me out of the way. When he turned to the wall at the end of the ally, an oval of purple haze materialized before my eyes. On impulse, I grabbed the hood of Axel's cloak and followed him through the fog.

‡‡‡

Even though it was day in Twilight Town, the place we turned up in had a midnight sky. There were a few towers scattered around, with one huge castle floating at the hub. It seemed like any other place, save for the golden, heart-shaped moon rimmed in blue clouds. It seemed to be pulsating with a life of its own, the azure rim swirling around the centre like the tide. Axel turned to me and grinned.

"I had a feeling you would come," he chuckled, then sighed, "Nothing to do but take you to the Superior I guess." He grabbed my wrist and led me quickly towards the central castle. As we came closer, it was obvious that the castle had been built to:

A. house a lot of people, and

B. Scare away any outsider who got too close.

I had a feeling that, if not for my escort, I would have been forcibly removed from the premises, possibly killed.

What happened next almost made me laugh out loud. I assumed that from the grandeur of the castle, the intricately pattered double doors would fly open at our approach. Instead, like any normal human being, Axel stepped up to the entrance and knocked. After about half a minute, I could hear bolts unlocking on the other side of the door.

"Who is it?" a chipper voice asked. I was surprised by the tone, assuming everything to be a sombre as the area's colour scheme. Axel sighed and rolled his eyes before calling into the door.

"It's the Muffin Man, Demyx," a pause, "Who do you think it is?" The door was flung open wide. Behind it was a brunette man, dressed in the same cloak as Axel and sporting a mullet. At once, I remembered a newspaper article from a couple of years ago. A hyper-active, fourteen years old boy had gone missing from a town close to mine. He had been described as having a dirty-blond mullet and blue eyes. I was beginning to wonder if this was a gang of teenage runaways.

Axel pulled on my wrist and led me into the castle. The foyer was made of shining cream marble, the floor a chequered pattered of ebony and ivory. Demyx followed close behind, almost puppy-like. As we marched up the winding stairs, Axel turned to look over his shoulder.

"By the way Demyx," he smirked, never breaking stride, "You're supposed to ask who it is _before _you unlock the door."

**Again guys, please review! The story gets better from here I promise!**


	3. A New Life Is Dawning

The staircase seemed to go on forever to the peak of the castle. Finally, we reached the top and stepped into a dark corridor. At the end of the hall was a bright light. As we strode towards the far end, Axel turned and whispered in my ear.

"When we get in there," he hissed hurriedly, "do not say one word, unless spoken to directly. Got it memorized?" I nodded. His hot breath so close to my face held the acidic tang of burning flesh and soot, a completely different scent from three years ago. Ale's breath had smelled like his mom's cooking. The contrast made be flinch away and walk a little faster.

The light in the tall room was truly blinding in comparison to the dark hall. I squinted through the intensity to get a better look at my surroundings. The room was circular, with monstrous thrones of different heights around the wall. There were thirteen thrones in all, and only about six were filled. All those present looked exactly the way Axel had in the square, the hoods of their cloaks pulled over their heads, the resulting shadows concealing their faces. I heard a loud, gruff voice call down from the thrones.

"Axel, what is the meaning of this?" the voice snickered condescendingly, "you know the rule about outsiders." Axel grimaced slightly.

"Yes, Xigbar, I'm perfectly aware. She followed me here. She was my Somebody's best friend." A chorus of 'ohs' and chuckles replied to the statement. I heard Demyx teleport behind us, and a second later he appeared sitting in one of the lower thrones. At the same time, the owner of the tallest throne materialized about ten feet from me and began to saunter forward.

"So my dear," he called, "please enlighten us. Why should we not kill you right here for knowing too much?" Well that was blunt. I cringed and opened my mouth to answer. Before I could speak though, Axel jumped to my defence.

"She can see the future when she dreams Xemnas," he replied, "She could forewarn us about… stuff." The cloaked figure laughed and pulled down his hood. The man, Xemnas I guess, had coffee coloured skin and thick silver hair that stuck out on the top and sides of his head. His grin was friendly, but there was a sadistic gleam in his eyes.

"Fine," he smirked at me, "since you have the commendation of a current member, we will give you a trial period. If you prove to not be useful to us, you will be killed." An amused cackle echoed down from the thrones. I bowed my head and managed a 'thank you'. Xemnas turned to Axel.

"Find a room for her in the west wing," he ordered, "make sure she is comfortable." Axel nodded, turned and gestured for me to follow. I bowed once more to Xemnas, best to butter up the guy who holds your life in his hands, and followed Axel back into the dark corridor.

Demyx appeared before us, grinning. I smiled back.

"Good to see you again Maretto," I chuckled at his childishly gleeful expression. Axel laughed out loud at my nickname, simply another word for 'mullet'.

"You and your nicknames, Kami-kaze," he chortled. Demyx had a thoughtful expression.

"Hey," his face lit up, "Maretto sounds like ice-cream!" Axel and I snickered.

‡‡‡

Our little group materialized inside a spacious room. It could have been taken straight out of a grand hotel, had it not been for the dark and sombre colour scheme. The immense vanity on the far wall was lit quite dimmer than any I had seen before. The bed, covered by a smoke coloured duvet was quite large for one person; the thick pillows piled high at the head of the mattress.

"This is your room," Axel explained, "The west wing is for the girls, ergo you and Larxene. The rest of us live in the east wing. If you need anything feel free to ask. Oh and," he paused and pointed to his head, "style your hair any way you want. As you can see, it's almost a given to have crazy hair around here." Demyx laughed.

I thanked the two for the help and they left me in peace. I noticed that there was only a small closet in the corner of the room. Inside, I found it full of uniform black cloaks, the same that the others had worn. Obviously this room had been prepared for a full member instead of a living tool. The bed was extremely soft. It felt almost as if there was nothing there at all, only a solid fog. On the vanity, I found all manner of eyeliners, hair gels, dyes and other beauty products. I sat on the bed with paper and a pencil I found in my pack and began to sketch possible hair styles.

In the end I went with a style I had been fantasizing about sporting through all my teen years. I went to the vanity and pulled out a large jar of hair gel and white dye. When I finished, my hair was gelled into multiple thick clumps, like dreadlocks but without the fuzz. I had dyed the bottom half of these clumps a snow white. As it set, I copied what I had seen of the other castle residents and lined my eyes with a thick, black pencil. If my parents and neighbours could see me now, I thought with a strong satisfaction, it would blow their conservative, small town minds.

‡‡‡

I slept peacefully on my new bed of fog. They say that you only dream when you are in a deep sleep, so I guess this was the best tool for my 'craft'. That night, I dreamt of a boy a few years younger than me, with spiky brown hair and an oversized key in his hand. He was deathly pale, wearing a black suit and a small carved pumpkin sat askew atop his head. He ran through a dark street, the scenery never changing from the stream of dark, crooked buildings. As I felt myself beginning to slowly gain consciousness the running boy stopped. Before my 'eyes' he changed shape. His hair became shorter and blonder, the pumpkin and the pale skin disappeared. The suit morphed into a familiar cloak. The boy who now stood before me had an innocent enough look about him, but his aura, as visible as his body, licked a malicious red.

I was brought back to full awareness by an insistent knocking on the door. I got up, realising that I had fallen asleep in the clothes from the day before. I answered the door with a heavy-eyed expression of confusion.

A tall, blonde girl stood just outside the door. She had big green eyes and her bangs appeared like the antenna of a dragonfly. She introduced herself as Larxene, number twelve. She gave my rumpled form a quick once-over, clucked her tongue and led me to the vanity inside the room. I was forced to take a seat at the mirror while Larxene styled my hair and applied my makeup according to my slurred directions. All the while, she never stopped talking. She explained how hard it was being the only girl living with twelve other guys. How no one liked her because they didn't understand, and it was a relief to have another woman in the castle, even if I wasn't a Nobody.

She told me about the other eleven, and the newest member who had only joined a few months ago. She went to the closet and threw me a cloak. As she described the new member, Roxas, I jolted fully awake. Her description fit the red-aura boy in my dream. I decided to keep this little tidbit to myself. After Larxene deemed me fit to be seen, she created a purple fog-portal, saying that Xemnas wanted to see me.

We reappeared in the main hall of the castle. I noticed that another figure was coming from a shadowed hall in the opposite direction. When he came into the light, I was slightly disappointed at the sight of an unfamiliar face. The newcomer was about my height, with messy pink, yes pink, hair. He saw Larxene and I coming and broke into a wide grin.

"Morning ladies!" he called, "fabulous day isn't it?" Larxene rolled her eyes and growled an annoyed 'hi Marley' in his direction. I smiled and waved. 'Marley' sauntered over to us and brought his face close to mine.

"So," he chuckled, "this must be Superior's new gadget." I leaned back a bit as the sickeningly sweet smell of an over-stocked florist's shop hit my nose. He leaned in closer and whispered in my ear. "If Xemnas turns out to be a bad employer, I've got a spot open on my team for a little something I've got planned. Think about it." He stood up, waved to Larxene and pranced off the way we had come. Larxene sighed and opened up another portal.

"Thank Kingdom Hearts those air-heads aren't allowed to set foot in the west wing."


	4. New Family, New Friends

Larxene and I materialized at what I assumed to be the top floor of the castle. I could see the starless sky, and the monstrous, heart-shaped moon. At the other end of the platform stood Xemnas. He had his back to us, staring up at the moon. I could tell that he was speaking, but he was just too far away to make out exactly what he was saying. Larxene coughed softly in her throat and Xemnas turned to face us. A wide grin broke across his face when he spotted me.

"Ah," he smirked, stepping lightly towards us, "how was your sleep my dear?" I bowed.

"Very good, thank you sir," I started, trying to keep my nerves from being given away in my voice, "the bed was extremely comfortable." Xemnas chuckled. It was a hard, grating sound, uncomfortable to the ear.

"You misunderstand me," he smirked, "how did you dream? Anything worth my time?" I could feel myself paling. Was the running boy with the pumpkin hat meaningful? I hoped that whatever higher power was providing me with the dreams would at least have the decency to help out when my life was at stake. I explained the brown haired boy in the suit running through the sombre town. Once again I decided to withhold the morphed boy in the cloak. I assumed that if he was wearing one of their uniforms than he would already be old news. Xemnas placed a hand roughly on my shoulder.

"Good job," he leered, "we had lost track of the Keybearer for a while. But now we know where he is. It seems you have not outlived your usefulness. Yet." I finally released the breath that had caught in my throat, waiting for the verdict. He dismissed me, telling Larxene to escort me down to the dining hall.

‡‡‡

Back in the grand foyer, Larxene ushered me through a set of huge mahogany doors to a spacious hall. At the centre sat a monstrous slab of a table, surrounded by a diverse pallet of hair colours and the uniform black cloaks. A few heads looked up from the plates of food to glance at the latecomer. Demyx waved me over excitedly to an empty seat between himself and a guy with a black and gray ponytail. Axel, who sat across the table looked up and waved as well. I thanked Larxene for the help that morning and went to join my previous acquaintances. I greeted Demyx with a 'morning Maretto' and a smile. He grinned back and patted the seat of the empty chair. When I sat down, all eyes turned to stare. I waved sheepishly and introduced myself. Demyx wasted no time in pointing out all the faces around the table, some I matched easily to Larxene's descriptions. Soon after everything quieted down, I was prodded in the shoulder by the guy with the ponytail.

"So," he chuckled once he had my attention, "why's Superior 'keepin you alive, hmm? You can tell me, I'm number two." Before I could answer, a tiny ball of flame shot across the table, fizzing out inches from his scarred face. We both turned to the source of the shot.

"Xigbar," Axel growled, "It's none of your business. Got it memorized?"

"Yes Kaizokada," I smiled, "its very hush hush." Axel snickered at the nickname, pirate.

Axel slid a plate across the table to me. It was piled with, to my surprise, regular breakfast foods that I could have ordered at any diner back home. I called a 'thanks' over the vast expanse of table.

The assembled company began to trickle out as the diners finished eating. Demyx, who insisted on giving me a guided and well commentated tour of the entire castle, dragged me out of the hall. He was so eager that I couldn't possibly refuse. That and the iron grip he had clamped around my wrist. Axel got up smirking and followed us as well.

‡‡‡

First, we stopped at the training arena. Demyx showed me his sitar and the 'dancer nobodies' he summoned. He must have been a musician before he ran away, I thought, his playing really was good. After much prompting, Axel showed off his weapon and his assassin nobodies, shooting balls of fire at targets. The targets, I noticed, looked almost exactly like the running boy in my dream.

Next, I was led down to what I assumed to be the basement of the castle. There, we snuck into a laboratory. The many shelves lining the walls were filled with flasks and beakers of florescent liquids of many colours. In one corner of the room sat a trio of tanks full of a viscous liquid. Each tank held a small, black creature, which looked like an oversized ant.

I was always the science nerd as a kid, so I was fascinated by the array of sophisticated equipment.

While I stared in awe of the display, I did not hear the hasty, approaching footsteps. I jumped at the sound of the massive, iron door slamming open.

"Don't touch anything!" a frantic voice cried, rising to a fever pitch. A man with long, blonde hair and ice blue eyes open wide in fervour, charged over to a large desk, swiping stacks of loose papers into his arms. He snarled at us and ran into another room just off the lab. I recognized him as Vexen, whom I had seen at breakfast. Larxene had told me that morning that he was the resident scientist. Out of curiosity, I stepped tentatively into the adjacent room.

Vexen sat on a stool in the corner of the room, shuffling the papers in his lap. I made my way quietly over to his hunched form. At my quiet 'excuse me', he jumped, the papers scattering everywhere. Wanting to make a good impression, I reached out to help collect the sheets. One I caught a glimpse at depicted a dissection diagram of an ant creature from the main lab.

"Sure, sure, laugh," he sighed in his frantic tone, "I'm used to it, don't worry."

"Well," I started, "I'm into science, and the stuff out front looks pretty interesting –" He quickly switched to an expectant expression.

"Fine then," he interrupted, beginning to sweep up more paper and a few flasks on a shelf, "help me with this won't you? Oh, and this." I followed him into the main room. Demyx was hunched over a large beaker, observing in amused fascination at the small explosions created at the mixture of a pink powder and a neon green fluid while Axel held a pocket lighter sized flame between the glass and his finger. I heard Vexen mutter something about 'children' and 'disrespectful idiots'.

Vexen led me to a stainless steel worktable in a dark corner of the room. He placed his burden on the cold surface and gathered a few other materials. He gestured for me to come closer.

"Look here," he whispered franticly, opening jars and flasks, "combine the eye of a Heartless, liquid nitrogen, sulphur, the heart of a small lizard and," he added after following these directions in a glass beaker, "my secret ingredient." Quickly, he sealed the jar with a metal lid. Moments passed. Slowly, a dense black mist began to swirl in the capped container. At the time I thought myself mad, for as it became thicker I could make out small hands forming from the streams, attempting to latch onto an absent target. It soon dissipated, assumingly from lack of fuel. Honestly, I was at once, disturbed, confused and morbidly curious. I leaned in close, staring in wonder at the mysteriously empty jar.

"What was that?" I asked, unintentionally using the same giddy voice science teachers had heard many times.

"That," Vexen exclaimed proudly, "was the Darkness." At my quizzical expression he continued. The Darkness, he explained, was an organism of pure antimatter, feeding on living energy to maintain a physical form. He described how whole monstrous clouds of the stuff had swallowed worlds, though what I just witnessed would only consume one person. He also disclosed that Nobodies were created when people with strong hearts were either intentionally exposed to the Darkness, or whose strong, negative emotions drew the Darkness to them. At this statement, I looked back to the other side of the room at the other two boys. I felt that I finally understood. Ale's depression over the loss of his mother had called the Darkness. He had been consumed while Axel had been formed around him. It was almost a compliment really. Axel's presence proved that Ale had a strong heart. If so, he had to still be in there, somewhere. I looked up from my continued conversation with Vexen at Demyx's call of 'I'm bored'. I chuckled and thanked Vexen for the demonstration. When asked if I could come back again, he replied with

"Well, if you really must."


	5. The Usurper

Time was hard to trace in the sunless, seasonless world, and the months all passed in a similar fashion to one another. I spent my mornings hanging out with Larxene, gossiping and talking about girly things; the afternoons with Axel and Demyx, exploring the castle while pulling the occasional prank. When he wasn't feeling extra paranoid, I would help Vexen in the lab; or have long discussions on any topic with Zexion, when he could be found. Even though I did not dream every night, my 'usefulness' was consistent enough that Xemnas allowed me to live. Lexaeus was even persuaded now and again to give me combat instruction in the training hall. The Organization became my universe, my close friends like planets revolving around the sun of my life. My existence continued this way, peaceful and undisturbed, until he returned.

The boy with the red aura had become a prominent fixture in my dreams at the time. Even then, I had never told anyone about it. Not even Axel, who had become, in my mind, my closest friend. Part of me doubted from time to time if I was really close to Axel himself, or my deep wish for Ale to still exist somewhere inside him.

One night, I dreamt that I was a sun, with twelve coloured planets turning comfortably in my orbit. Suddenly, a star out in the distance became larger, closing in at an alarming speed. I noticed that as the alien star became closer, the red planet, which was the closest to me, began to slowly drift away. Soon the new golden sun, ringed like the boy in a red aura, sat just outside my gravitational pull with the red planet within its orbit.

I awoke that morning in a cold sweat, a strange feeling of foreboding sitting on my mind. The day itself began like any other. I went to Larxene's room so we could make each other gorgeous. I had noticed that over the course of my time in the castle, Larxene had begun to take a lot more pride in her appearance. I guess having someone who cares to give you the time of day will do that to a person. We tried something a little different that morning, using a special brush to run black streaks through her hair. I would have loved to try styling the guy's hair sometime, but Xemnas had apparently ordered log ago, for whatever reason, that opposite genders could never, no matter what excuse, set foot in the other boarding wing.

After a rather uneventful breakfast, the Organization was summoned to the hall of thrones for a meeting. I had long since been given a throne of my own, albeit it was as low as a normal chair, causing me to come out of every meeting with a crick in my neck from always staring up. I never confirmed if the height of my perch was due to the fact that I could not create portals or if it represented my lowly status as human tool. Once all the thrones were full, Xemnas himself materialized on the highest. The meeting was about as humdrum as breakfast. The Organization discussed mission status, the strength of Kingdom Hearts and the location and condition of the 'Sora' person they were always talking about. Finally, Xemnas raised his hand for full attention.

"Everyone," he called, his authoritive voice booming off the vaulted ceiling, "I have good tidings. Our Key of Destiny has returned." At this, a portal appeared on the always-empty thirteenth throne. All was silent. Suddenly, before my eyes sat the red aura boy, the golden sun, from my dreams. He did not seem at all happy to be there, though the rest of the gathered company erupted in happy calls of greeting. I stayed silent. There was something about this boy that caused just the sight of him to make me uncomfortable. I decided though to ignore these feeling and try to make friends. After the meeting, I caught up to him in the dark hall.

"Hi!" I chirped, trying to be as pleasant as possible, "I'm Nuana. You are?"

"Roxas," he mumbled. I decided to try making conversation.

"You must be the newest member that Larxene was talking about before," I continued.

"Mmhm," was the only reply I received. All the way to the main hall, I attempted to get a single comprehensible word out of Roxas, but to no avail. He either mumbled or did not answer at all. Finally, we arrived in the foyer. Axel was coming from the other direction. I began to step towards him, about to ask for help in the situation. To my surprise he began running towards _us_. I, personally, had never seen Axel run anywhere.

"Roxas!" he called, "hey buddy, I'm so glad you're back!" I observed my silent companion roll his eyes, turn, and walk back the way we had just come. Axel rushed past as well, not even pausing to throw a 'hey Kami-kaze' my way. Curious at the cause of my shunning, I quickly turned to follow.

I hid behind the corner of a wall, trying to catch the conversation between my friend and the newcomer. Once my breath had slowed down enough to be inaudible, I picked up a few tidbits of speech.

"No one missed me," Roxas' voice.

"I missed you," Axel. That one little comment sparked a thought. What if I left? Would anyone miss me? I decided to make my presence known.

"Hey Axel," I called as I came around the corner. All I got in response:

Nothing.

Not a word, not even a turn of the head.

Frustratingly, this became commonplace. Larxene and I would come in for breakfast to find the seat across from Demyx empty. Instead, there would be Roxas at the far end of the table, Axel hovering over him trying to make up for lost time. I would sit with Larxene and Demyx and try to enjoy the conversation. It just wasn't the same without the random fireballs and smart remarks. Demyx and I had to explore on our own, which did not always end up so well. I couldn't create portals and Demyx didn't always think before acting, ergo unintentionally leaving me stranded to run while he disappeared to safety. I had considered Axel my best friend for a long time and the shirking was really beginning to become painful.

After a few weeks, I happened to cross Axel and Roxas in a hall. Deciding to be the bigger person, I called out a greeting with a friendly grin.

"Hey Kagutsuchi," I smiled sincerely, "Senshu." The two stopped in their tracks. Roxas looked surprised, Axel looked slightly angry. This was the very first time he had not laughed at one of my nicknames. Not surprisingly though, since I had decided to call his 'buddy' usurper.

‡‡‡

After the chance meeting in the hall, relations between Axel and I became even more strained. I tried to keep busy, spending time with Demyx and Larxene almost as if to say, 'look at me, I'm doing fine without your friendship'.

My dreams became dotted with memories of Ale. Our secret fort, the time we stole blue ice-cream pops from the traveling vendor, and the blood pact we made at the age of ten. My subconscious also forced me to remember those last two painful weeks. I saw Ale, trying to give me a smile at his mom's funeral. The Ale I had tried to forget, nonchalant and tired, with the weight of all the emotional pain slowing him down. I wanted, deep in my heart to find the smiling, laughing confident and playmate I had lost. I decided to see if there was any way that I could trigger something, anything to bring him to the surface of that smirking face, even for a moment.

The next morning, I woke early before anyone else. I knew Axel had developed a habit of getting to the dining hall before Roxas to save him a seat. I left a note on the outside of my door, apologizing to Larxene for leaving early. I made my way down to the foyer and sat in the shadows by the doors to the dining hall. I watched as first Zexion, then Saïx, and then Xaldin entered the chamber. Finally, after a few others, the familiar sent of campfire reached my nose. I prepared to pounce as my target came into range. Once he was within three feet of the door, I shot out from my hiding spot, grabbing Axel's arm and dragging him back into the shadows. He humoured me, not putting up a fight. This only made me all the more indignant. Once I was sure we were out of sight, I pulled my contraband treasure out of the pocket of my robe. Axel stared in surprise, then confusion, at the open pocket knife I gripped.

"Remember our pact?" I asked through clenched teeth, pulling off the long, black glove concealing his hand. I brought the newly exposed palm up to my face, searching for the scar. I still had mine, cut when Ale and I had made our blood pact of eternal friendship all those years ago. There it was, pale and fading, but still traceable on the ivory skin.

"Ale," I stammered, desperation seeping into my voice, "remember? My blood is in your blood. Please," I started to tear, "come out if you can." I heard Axel sigh, bored, uncaring. I gripped his wrist tight and cut the skin along the scar, receiving a wince and a sharp intake of breath from the victim. I waited for the blood to well at the surface of the wound so I could prove my point. I squeezed his wrist harder, trying to will the blood to flow. Nothing came. Through the cut, I could see pink new skin, but not a single drop of liquid. Axel wretched his hand away.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, his tone harsh, "what was that for?"

"M-my bl-blood," I stammered, more to myself than anyone, "i-it's gone. N-nothing there. The pact. Ale –" Axel put two fingers to my lips.

"I told you back in the square Kami-kaze," he remarked, "Ale is dead. When our Somebodies die, they die. We have whole new bodies, just for us. We only look the same." I started to shake.

"No, no, no," I mumbled, my voice steadily rising to a fever pitch, "he can't be gone. He's in there somewhere, I know it!" Axel shook his head.

"Nope," he stated, "this is all me. One hundred percent Axel." I tried to regain what little composure I had started with.

"Well," I breathed, "then I have this one question. Why did you drop me like a hot rock when Senshu got home?"

I never expected the answer that followed.

"He makes me feel like I have a heart," he explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "You frankly, don't."

Thinking back, that blunt statement of the truth must have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Everything became a blur in my overemotional mind. Mom had always said after Ale disappeared that feeling too much would be my downfall. I remember thinking how right she turned out to be as I ran for the basement.

Through helping Vexen in the lab, I eventually learned the secret of the Nobodies, that they didn't have hearts. They remembered what is was like so they could put on a flawless and convincing guise of showing emotion. I believed though, from extensive observation, that the diverse pallet of behavioural traits in the group could not be merely a habitual show. I therefore concluded, and debated with Vexen and Zexion often, that personality is an aspect of the mind, not the heart.

As I escaped from the emotionally chaotic scene of the confrontation to the dark quiet of the lab, a plan began to form in my mind. I knew that I would be killed if I tried to escape; or go mad, and thus be killed anyway, if I stayed. I was sick of being the slave to my emotions. So why allow them to stay?

I knocked on the door to Vexen's lab, praying that he would answer before I changed my mind. When the door opened, I swept in and headed straight for the back table in the corner. As I rummaged through the stock on the shelf, I heard Vexen come up behind me.

"Nuana," he asked, anxiety pricking his speech, "what in the name of Kingdom Hearts are you doing?" I turned to my friend, trying to slow my frantic breath.

"Vexen," I pleaded, shoving the old glass jar in his face, "make me the Darkness. Make me a Nobody."


	6. The Crossroads

Vexen blinked at my sudden request, and then began to fiddle with the chain on his robe.

"Well?" I asked, frustration beginning to leak into my voice, "Will you?" Vexen looked up from the distraction.

"Will I what?"

I growled in aggravation and turned back to the partly ransacked shelf, trying to remember the secret formula from all those months ago.

"Let's see," I mumbled to myself, examining jars and flasks, "arm… no eye of an ant thing. Sulphur, remember the smell. Liquid nitrogen, the cold fog. The heart of something…"

"A small lizard," Vexen offered. I stared at the assortment in the old jar.

"Vexen," I started without turning, "You said that there's a secret ingredient. What is –"

"I said nothing of the sort," he squeaked in a sing-song voice. I turned and looked him straight in the eye.

"I want this," I hissed, "I want to be a Nobody. I don't want to feel."

"But –"

"Please Vexen," I begged, deciding to take a different approach, "if not than for me, than for scientific discovery. Wouldn't it be beneficial to your research to watch the birth of a Nobody firsthand?" He shook his head.

"You don't know what you're saying," he explained sadly, in the tone you use when trying to explain to a small child why their hamster isn't getting up; "We have devoted our whole existences to having hearts again. If I aided in throwing yours away, well that would make me quite the hypocrite. The Superior would never forgive me."

I knew it was true. The infamous Kingdom Hearts, I had learned, was the odd golden moon I had noticed when I first arrived. Its purpose was to eventually provide the Nobodies of the Organization with hearts, fulfilling their greatest dream.

I felt calmer logic return with the slowing of my quickened heart. My vision, I realized as I blinked slowly, had been blurred and spotted with red in my rage. Acting on a whim, I stepped over to Vexen and wrapped him in a small hug, feeling him stiffen at the unexpected contact.

"Thank you," I whispered. I felt like a little kid again. He patted my back awkwardly, probably having never been hugged in his existence.

After I left the lab, still sad but at least calmer, I went upstairs to the dining hall. At this time of day, it would be mostly empty. Even if there were people, most of the Organization ignored me anyway.

When I entered the hall, only two others were there. Luxord was at the end of the table closer to me, distractedly shuffling a pack of cards. Marluxia sat at the far end, arranging white roses and pink baby's breath in a large vase. I made my way to the table and sat a few chairs away from Luxord. He looked over at me as I sat down.

"Are you doing anything with those?" I asked, pointing to the cards. He shook his head.

‡‡‡

"Got any fives?" I asked later. We had already played three rounds of Gin Rummy and were on our second game of Go Fish. So far I hadn't won a single game. Marluxia had left long ago, complaining that it was impossible to concentrate with our talking.

"Go Fish," Luxord answered, grinning self confidently.

Suddenly, I heard the distinctive whoosh of a dusk portal opening. Turning, I came face to face with Roxas, the second person I wanted most to _not_ see.

"Hey," he asked, his blue eyes quickly scanning the hall, "has Axel been in here?" Luxord and I shook our heads. The boy released a large breath. I heard him mutter something about _personal bubble_ under his breath.

"So," I inquired, "what brings you in here in such a hurry?"

"I'm trying to escape the leech," was the blunt reply. Luxord nodded knowingly. I guess there were a lot of things Larxene and I missed in the west wing. "Oh," he added, "I was looking for you too. Could I have a private word?" I flashed him a confused look and pointed to myself. He nodded. I got up, thanked Luxord for the games, and followed Roxas through a portal.

We ended up outside. The world was dark, as usual, but the weather was fine. We ran across the grounds of the castle and hid in the shadow of a large, dead tree.

"So," I asked, "what did you want to talk about?" He fiddled with the chain on his coat, avoiding my eyes.

"Well," he started, "I had this dream, and I guess I thought that you would be the best person to ask." I gestured for him to continue.

"For the past few nights," he explained, "I've been dreaming about this guy who kind of looks like me, and has keyblades like me, but he's got brown hair. I feel threatened by him, but also really attached."

"Actually," I revealed, "I've dreamt of him too. Every time, he morphed into you at the very end. I'm pretty sure he's your Somebody."

"Have you told anyone else?" he asked, a worried look crossing his features. I shook my head.

"No one until now." He stayed silent.

"Do you think," he asked suddenly, "that I should go find him? I want to know why I have keyblades and, other things." I did a mental double take.

"Find him?" I asked hesitantly, "as in, leave the castle?" Roxas nodded slowly, probably thinking things over the consequences his mind as he moved. One part of me wanted to tell him to go, get out of my life and return my friend, then sneer at his turned back as he left. But looking at him, seeming so lost and unsure, I realized that the red aura he had possessed in my dreams had been only a representation of the effect his return would have on my life. He had no malicious intentions against me. If anything, he was unintentionally using the 'soul search' thing as an excuse to leave his stuffy surroundings. Since that fateful day, I had never seen the poor kid without Axel practically grafted to his side.

"Axel will get really upset if I leave," Roxas started to shake his head, "maybe I should forget about –"

"Well," I stopped him, "forget about anyone else. What do you think is best for _you_?" There was a long silence as Roxas thought with his head hung. Finally, he looked up from his feet.

"I have to do it," he decided, a strength and conviction coming to his voice that I had never heard before. It matched the deep light I had seen in his eyes, the polar opposite of the cold glint found in the eyes of the other Nobodies. "If finding Sora is what it takes to discover who I am, then I'll face the wrath of the Organization head on." Part of me cheered in selfish triumph, the other thought, _Good for you kid_. If I was never going to see him again, there was one thing I had to say.

"I'm sorry that I called you Senshu, Roxas," I smiled repentantly; "I know that Axel's attitude isn't your fault. Can you forgive me?"

"Yeah," he smiled. On compulsion, I wrapped the shorter boy in a soft hug. At that moment, it felt as if Roxas was the little brother I never had, needing comfort from his big sister. I could feel the surprise at the touch ripple in his shoulders, but he clumsily hugged me back. "Thanks."

"You don't have to tell Axel that you're leaving if you don't want to," I whispered. He pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"No," he started, "he may be a leech, but he's only trying to be his idea of a good friend. It would selfish to leave without saying goodbye." I nodded.

_If being a good friend was taking up every second of someone's time_, I thought, _then I must be his worst enemy_.

I smiled reassuringly. "If you think it's the right thing to do."


	7. It Brings Out The Worst In Everyone

**Wow guys, I was worried at first that no one liked Memoirs, but then chapter five came out, and BAM! Twenty reviews! I hope everyone likes this chapter, because it was very rewarding to write. Props to Twilight-Angel-XIII for the help with Memoirs and especially this scene. Enjoy!**

We portaled back into the foyer of the castle after making sure no one was outside. We stood for a minute in the blinding glare of the lights on the polished marble, waiting. Soon, the sound of rushed footsteps echoed up from the east hallway, followed by calls of _Roxas? Where are you buddy?_ I saw the boy exhale heavily under the weight of his impending task. As the footsteps became louder, Axel came into view from the shadowed hall. His eyes lit up when they fell on Roxas, but became questioning when he noticed me standing beside him.

"It's okay Otouto," I whispered, placing my hand reassuringly on his shoulder "if he's a true friend, he'll accept your decision." Roxas looked at first surprised, and then smiled at his new nickname. Little Brother.

"Hey," he asked, turning to Axel, "can I have a word with you."

"Sure, whatever you want," the redhead grinned. He started to follow Roxas back towards the front door of the castle, walking right past me without a word.

"Well," I called to their backs, "I'll see you later Otouto, Kagutsuchi." Roxas turned to wave, but Axel simply kept walking.

I knew that it was best leave Roxas to handle things, but my curiosity got the better of me. I ran quietly after them and followed at a safe distance to listen in.

As they walked, Roxas broke the silence.

"I'll be leaving for awhile," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head, embarrassed. As I had expected, Axel exploded.

"You can't leave," he yelled, waving his hands in his friends face, "Xemnas will kill you! He'll send _me_ to kill you!" The blond boy shook his head.

"Well I –," he started hesitantly, "I need to know why the Keyblade chose me." Axel chuckled. Not his usual amused laugh, but a cruel and mocking sound.

"'Why the Keyblade chose you'," he waved his hand sarcastically, "I guess I should go on a soul search and find out why I was chosen by the chakrams." His laughter was cut to a grunt as Roxas shoved him and broke into a run, hurrying over the crest of a small hill and out of sight. Axel and I followed, he calling words of apology over the rise.

I tracked my quarry to a small, empty city outside the castle grounds. The only light among the ebony skyscrapers came from the windows and green and blue neon signs adorning the sides of buildings, advertising things in an indecipherable pictorial language. Roxas was nowhere to be found in the oddly chequered streets, so Axel leaned up against a building and crossed his arms to wait. I hid in an ally between his building and one next-door. The stop of both our movement settled a dense fog of quiet over the virtual ghost town. In time, the silence was broken by the loud echo of footsteps coming from the south end of the street.

"Your mind's made up?" Axel asked as Roxas walked by him. The boy stopped before turning a corner onto the adjoining, eastbound street.

"Why did the Keyblade choose me," he replied, "I have to know." Axel snapped around.

"You can't turn on the Organization!" he called. No answer. With an exaggerated sigh, he ran down the street after Roxas.

I decided it would be best to not be found, so I headed back the way I had come and made my way back to the castle.

Back in my room, I fell into a troubled sleep.

_Where will he go? _I wondered. _Will he be okay?_

‡‡‡

I dreamt of Roxas that night. He was trapped in a teal, pixelated sphere. There was no sound, but I could see that he was yelling for help. His eyes, wide with fear, darted across the confining surface, searching desperately for a way out. He slammed his fists, then his keyblades into the side of the cage, trying to break free. I felt my heart wrench, knowing that there was nothing I could do. Suddenly, the sphere dropped into the palm of a large, brown hand. A shining, yellow eye came up to the side of the cage and watched Roxas run inside like a rat, at his futile attempts to break the shell.

I awoke in the middle of the night, with tears threatening to spill. I knew then that he would not be fine. The brown hand, the yellow eye; it was going to trap him. I could not get back to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see Roxas, his face a portrait of terror.

I stumbled, bleary eyed, into the dining hall for breakfast that morning after shrugging on a coat and throwing my hair in a sloppy ponytail. When I took my usual seat beside Demyx, I simply sat, eyes closed. Out of nowhere, I was faced with the sound of dishes sliding across the slab of marble before me. I opened one eye in curiosity and observed the interruption. The steam coming from an ebony mug hit my face. The opposition to the chill of the room sent a small shiver down my spine.

"Hey," a voice asked, "are you feeling okay?" I turned to face Demyx, his expression one of genuine sympathy and concern.

"You don't look so good," he continued, "Rough night?" I nodded. A deep, amused chuckle resonated from the other side of the table. This was followed by the sound of skin hitting skin and an annoyed call of "Hey, what was that for?" I returned my attention to Demyx.

"Wazz 'at?" I asked; pointing to the mug sitting abandoned at my place.

"Oh that!" he brightened, "Well, on my last mission, I found a big," he stretched his hands to emphasise just how big, "sack of coffee lying around, so I brought it back! Don't tell the others though. The Superior says that the last thing we need is caffeine. I'm not sure what that is, but I think it's in coffee."

I smiled my thanks and took a tentative sip of the dark, golden brown liquid. To my relief, it tasted relatively normal. Nothing like the disaster that was the last time Demyx insisted on helping Xaldin in the kitchen. After downing the mug and half a piece of toast, I began to feel better. My mind was still reeling from the effects of my sleepless night, but I could hold a decent conversation without a drowsy slur.

About halfway through breakfast, an explosion went off near the door to the hall. At least, it sounded like an explosion. All heads turned to the noise. From out of a madly frothing dusk portal stepped Axel. He looked worse than I had that morning in the mirror. His hair stood out at even odder angles and there were monstrous bags under his eyes. But, where I had been groggy and out of sorts, Axel looked furious. Small sparks flashed into being on his skin and flew around the room. He slumped forcefully into a chair across the table and sat there, fuming.

"Hey man," Demyx called, "You don't look so good. Want some coffee?" Axel nodded curtly, without a word. A small dusk portal opened before Demyx, who dropped in a mug of coffee. It reappeared on the table in front of Axel, not a drop out of place. He glared at it suspiciously and then took a large sip.

Xigbar materialized onto the chair next to Axel, mischief sparkling in his one visible eye.

"So what happened?" he asked. "Did the kid finally pour some salt on you, leech?"

A few seconds of silence passed. All those within earshot stopped moving to see what would happen next. Suddenly, without warning, Axel lifted the mug of steaming liquid and threw the contents in Xigbar's face. All conversation was drowned out by the victim's cries of shock and agony. We all watched as Xigbar ran from the room, clutching his face and flinging profanities.

"Gee Axel," Demyx started, "what's wrong?" All amusement from the coffee incident drained from the emerald eyes, to be replaced with a burning rage. This intense gaze was turned on me.

"Ask. Her." He snarled. Demyx turned to me, confused.

"Nuana," he asked tentatively, "what's going on?" I shrugged. Axel growled.

"Oh that's rich," he snapped, "coming from the person who caused it all. If you hadn't been so selfish and needy, this never would have happened!" I was shocked. Selfish and needy? Who did he think he was? I stood and slammed my palms on the marble.

"On what grounds?" I asked through clenched teeth. He smirked cruelly.

"You know very well what grounds. You convinced Roxas to leave 'cause you couldn't stand anything upsetting your perfect little world."

I could feel the emotions rising in me. Anger, frustration and disdain. I was surprised, for I had not experienced those kinds of feelings for a long time. I was exhilarated and even a little frightened.

"You're the selfish one," I yelled, "You have to go placing the blame just because you can't admit that maybe he left because of you!" I could see something snap in Axel. He shot up from his seat and matched my stance across the table, his usually soft features warped into a hard, unrecognizable mask of contempt.

"Why did you make him leave?" he snarled in a dangerous whisper.

"He already wanted to leave when he talked to me," I yelled back, "I just told him to do what he thought was right!"

"What _you _thought was right, you mean," Axel growled. I glared at him.

"Well now you know how it feels to be abandoned," I simpered, "karma's funny like that."

"Oh, poor you," he snarled, rolling his eyes.

"At least you can see him again," I cried, feeling hot tears beginning to prick at the corners of my eyes, "_my_ best friend is dead!"

"Great," he sighed, "here we go with Ale again." He laughed to the others around the table. "Here come the waterworks guys! She still thinks he's alive somewhere in my head." He tapped his forehead and a few snickers came from the other end of the room.

"Oh, I know Ale's dead," I assured him, my voice turning to cold steel, "I'm talking to his murderer." Axel snapped around to face me. His expression registered first shock, then exasperation.

"Now," I grinned, "we're even."

Axel leaned toward me over the table. "Would you blame a child for its mother dying when it was born? No. Same situation. Got it memorized?" I leaned in as well.

"That may be," I started, "but you still acted like you cared about me before he came back. I thought you were my _friend_, but I can see I was dead wrong." Axel leaned in even closer. We were almost face to face now. I could smell the sulphur and brimstone on his breath. Some of the sparks he was still emitting landed on my skin.

"I brought you here, so Xemnas said you were my responsibility," he explained sarcastically, "I was just making sure you got comfortably settl–"

"I hate you." My voice had dropped to an almost inaudible whisper, my mind aflame with fury.

"Sorry," he sneered, cupping a hand around his ear, "I didn't quite catch that."

"I," I repeated, my voice rising in volume with each word, "hate you!" I screamed the last word across the table.

"The feeling's mutual!" he shouted back.

I felt two hands latch onto my shoulders and pull me back behind the table. Xaldin and Zexion grabbed Axel's arms and pulled him back as well. I tried to wrest myself from my captors, wanting to give Axel another piece of my mind, and maybe a good solid punch to hit the message home. Axel looked about the same, though he was having a better time at escaping. Xaldin had a firm grip, but poor Zexion was shaken like a rag doll.

"Somebody do something!" he called. In response, some water materialized in the air and threw itself in Axel's face. This only succeeded in making him more furious. I turned to Demyx, who gripped my right shoulder.

"Sorry," he called sheepishly, "I thought that would work."

Larxene, who was holding my left shoulder, took me through a dusk portal to my room. As I stepped into the dark, I could hear Axel yelling at my back.

"You can't deny it forever," he raged, "I know it was you! You probably told him you had a dream that he had to leave! Didn't you? Answer me!" I turned to look back over my shoulder and sighed. If we had been anywhere else, he would have been sent to the shrink on appearance alone. It might have been the after effects of the fight, but I just _needed_ to have the last word.

"You're pathetic."

And with that, I followed Larxene through the portal.

**Alright guys, tell me what you think! If you can, please leave a signed review. One of my greatest joys on FF is replying to your comments!**


	8. The New Mission

I awoke from a deep sleep some time later. The morning's fight had drained all my energy so I stayed snuggled in the blankets and watched the dust float around the room, listening to the voice of the castle. Sometimes, I could swear that the structure itself was alive somehow. If I asked a question, such as 'how are you this morning?' it would reply with a squeak of the floor, or the flicker of a light bulb. Though some members of the Organization were quite cold and distant, the castle always held a feeling of warmth and comfort.

As I pondered on this, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Nuana?" a concerned, female voice asked, "You awake in there?"

"Yeah," I called, "come in." Larxene slowly opened the door and came over to sit at the foot of my bed.

"Well," she started, obviously at a loss for words, "that was quite a display this morning. I never knew that you could sound so evil."

"That makes two of us," I sighed.

"You could probably give the Superior a run for his money." This made me laugh softly.

"If it was a contest," I ventured, "he would probably have Saïx gag me from behind so there would be no chance of me winning."

Larxene smiled. "There's the Nuana I know," she laughed.

We talked for a while about useless things. I told her about everything that had happened, and it felt good to get it all off my chest. When I told her about how Roxas had come to me for help, she said, "See, I knew that hot-head was just jumping to conclusions!"

"Shoot," she stated suddenly, "I almost forgot why I came! The Superior wanted to see you as soon as you were awake."

After throwing on a new cloak, Larxene took me to the roof, or as I called it, the Observatory. As always, Xemnas was standing next to the edge of the deck, talking to Kingdom Hearts. His extravagant gestures always reminded me of a passionate stage actor, right in his element, performing for a mesmerized audience. Saïx stood nearby, completely motionless and expressionless. Larxene and I waited at the other end of the platform. When we caught his eye, Saïx stepped over to Xemnas and whispered something in his ear. The Superior cut off his speech and turned to us. For the first time, he did not appear sarcastically friendly. This time, he looked mad. Oh, boy he looked mad. I shivered at the glare, knowing it probably wasn't a good sign. He whispered something to Saïx, who stepped back into a dusk portal after throwing a knowing grin my way. I expected Xemnas to begin speaking immediately, but he stayed silent, continuing to stare longingly, I assumed, at Kingdom Hearts.

Suddenly, the sound of an opening dusk portal resonated behind us. I spun around to face Saïx and Axel. As soon as he saw me, Axel tried to turn around and walk back through the portal, but Saïx grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out onto the deck. He was roughly deposited on my other side and Saïx returned to the corner he had previously occupied.

"So," Xemnas asked, turning to face us, "what is this I have been hearing about an argument?"

"I didn't start it!" Axel and I retorted in unison. We blinked at each other, surprised. "This was your fault," we continued, matched breath for breath, pointing at each other accusingly, "was not, you liar!"

"Enough!" Xemnas bellowed, "I do not particularly care who started it, or who is responsible. I want to know what it was about. So?"

Axel's face turned to stone. "Nothing," he stated, "it was nothing. Just a stupid misunderstanding."

"Was it now?" Xemnas smirked, "the lady's eyes tell me otherwise." Axel scowled at me. "Now," he continued, turning his attention to me, "tell me the truth. What was this all about?" Larxene placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay," she whispered in my ear, "just tell him." I exhaled and nodded.

"It's Roxas sir," I explained, "he left last night on a soul search. Axel," I jabbed my thumb accusingly in his direction, "is under the impression that I convinced him to leave because I was jealous of their friendship. I also realized today what a conniving and self-centred person Axel is." After a few moments, Xemnas' expression morphed into a sadistic grin. Not a comforting sight.

"Well," he pondered, "this is a problem. We cannot just have people deflecting from the Organization whenever they see fit. Roxas must be brought back. So, Axel and Nuana" he addressed us, "as punishment for disrupting the piece of my castle, you will go together to find him. I'm sure that this will give you ample time to sort out your differences. Roxas is to be brought back alive. If he refuses, kill him. That is all."

"But Superior," Axel started.

"That is all, Axel."

As we began to leave, Xemnas cleared his throat.

"Oh, and Axel," he added once he had our attention, "If she dies on this mission, by your hand our otherwise, I am giving you to the lab." A visible quake ran through the redhead.

"Understood Superior," he mumbled.

"What was that about?" I asked Larxene as we made our way off the deck.

"Well," she explained, "back before Roxas joined, we had another thirteenth member. His name was Exadius. I forget exactly what he did, but it really pissed off the Superior. He decreed that Exadius was no longer a member of the Organization, but property of the lab. Well, you should have seen Vexen and Zexion light up. They usually only get to experiment on Heartless and lesser Nobodies, so they were really excited, if you can call it that. For the next few nights, none of us could sleep through the screaming." I stopped in my tracks and blinked in wonder. I had never seen either of the two scientists as sadists, but I guess you cannot judge a book by its cover.


End file.
